saul sceneDespite this, it was a nice affair: the family was overjoyed to have Saul with us and it was the first time I had dined anywhere else besides my room, which pleased Adele to no end. It was wonderful…until I walked Saul to the front gate."Why?" I asked him as I watched his crutch kick up dust into the warm night air."Why what?""Why do you get that look in your eye when you speak to Daniel? Has he offended you in some way?"Saul bit his lip, but didn't respond."It isn't him, is it? It's Benjamin. You dislike him because of his brother. Why do you hate Benjamin? He has done nothing wrong!""Sara, don't you understand that he did this to you?" said Saul, his voice stretched. "I know he was a nice boy and that you loved him, but you've turned him into a saint in your min. You've canonized him, and you don't realize that if it weren't for him, none of this would have happened to you!""It is not his fault that he was persecuted for something so out of his control," I spat, sudden anger s
Benjamin Jastrow : Altruism or Self-Abnegation?An important point in the characterization of Paper Stars is that each character has one very important characteristic that defines them as a person and influences their day to day lives. Each of these traits are supposed to be both the character's greatest asset and their greatest flaw. They both build the character up and destroy their progress. And in this journal, I wannted to share with my readers an in-depth analysis of Benjamin Jastrow.Easily the antithesis of Sara, Benjamin's defining characteristic is his altruism, and all of his other traits are influenced by it or are a result of it. His mild, gentle nature is centered around his carnal fear of causing others discomfort, which, in turn, becomes his own discomfort. His kindness is not limited to only those he cares for--it stretches to all those he meets, even when they are cruel to him, and he willingly shoulders the blame for any and all grievances around him. He is a human scapegoat, an alacritous martyr willing to give u
Scene from 'The Moon in the Door'Based off a recent experience I had while visiting a cemetery to see my great grandmother's grave.---Shiloh stopped for a moment, pausing in front of an especially old tombstone. He knelt and ran his hand along its face, feeling the indents of the words.Matthew Jonathan MaylandApril 15th, 1904 January 1st, 1921Loving son, caring friend."Shiloh, what's the matter?" asked Emmy.He didn't answer. He just crouched, his fingers freezing to the stone, his breath rising in clouds from his parted lips."I'm scared," he said finally."Why are you scared?"He shook his head. "All these people here, all these people under us, they were once alive, right? They breathed. They smiled. They cried and sometimes the wanted to die. But they all had their own lives and stories and problems, and we don't know any of them. We don't know anything at all." He bowed his head slightly. "The kid underneath this grave, he was my age when he died. He was seventeen. He had a mum and a dad and a family
more Sara/Saul arguingthis actually makes an appearance in the novel---When school ended I thankfully accepted a ride home in Emil's new Plymouth, and while it made me feel terribly selfish, I just couldn't bring myself to wait around for Saul, because his first hour teacher had given him an after-school detention for that morning's tardy. Thankfully, my best friend was of the accepting, generally easygoing variety, and he didn't seem all too perturbed by my decision when I informed him at lunch."And I'll have you know that I wouldn't have waited for you either," he told me matter-of-factly."That's bosh, Saul," I told him. "In fact, you owe me at least one wait. Remember that day last year when I waited by the bleachers to walk with you to town? In fact, I waited fifteen goddamn minutes for you to finish snogging Pia Grünwald-""Hey, hey—she wanted a little kiss so I gave her one! Didn't want to hurt her feelings-""You really are a gentleman, Saul. Taking one for the team, were you?" said Erich,
Melodrama"Oh, good morning, Simon."Simon looked up from the bowl of cereal he was fixing himself and grinned. "Good morning, yourself. Just fixing some breakfast before we head to town—no other food here and I'm half starved.""Good luck with that," said Holly, regarding the pile of bran flakes that sat inside the bowl. "There's no milk left.""What?""There's no more milk. Ran out of it last night and I didn't have time to make it to the grocery store.""But I already poured my cereal!" said Simon with distress."That's unfortunate," replied Holly. She then watched with perplexity as her temporary flat-mate set the bowl on the counter, walked over to his cot and collapsed into the sheets. "Simon, what are you doing?" she asked.Simon threw an arm over his face, covering his eyes with the crook of his elbow. "All that trouble for nothing," he moaned. "What is this? What is my life?!""Simon.""This is a cruel world." The young man rolled onto his stomach, dragging the covers with him until he
Phone-Call #1: February 18th, 1961"He—Hello?""Is this Miss Halliburton?""Who on earth is calling me at this time of night?""Guess.""Excuse me?""Take a guess.""I—what? Who is this?""Wow, you don't even recognize my voice. I'm offended.""Is this some sort of prank call?""After all we went through.""If you don't tell me who you are and why you're calling, I'm hanging up right now. It is too damn early for this.""Then I'll just call again. Well, actually, don't hang up, I've only got fifty cents left.""For God's sake, who the is this?""I already told you to guess, Ilex—I thought you were clever.""I—what—you—Simon?!""Took you long enough.""Simon, it is two in the morning. What is wrong with you?""Well, I've got six pounds of shit building up in my airways, I can't breathe without an oxygen tank and I'm an asshole.""I already knew that. Now why are you calling me in the middle of the night—and did I hear you say you're at a payphone?""Yes, there's one on the bottom floor of the hospital.""What are you doi
short-term memory.and you'll never forget:When you realized that everybody dies alone.When you didn't take your eyeliner off one night, so in the morningyour eyes would look as hollow as you felt.When you spent a year blacking out the sad endings in your books.(When you wished that life could also work like that.)When you learnt that "We need a break" means "I am going to break your heart."When you fell in love with the stars, and the way he says "us."When he told you, "More than just a long time."The first time you hung up to the sound of your father laughing.When you walked home from a party in January, and couldn't rememberif you were still breathing.When you begged him to let you be sad, and he smiled and said, "No."When you saw the irony of drawing trees on paper – and how alive you've feltafter being sure you were dead.
I did a thing!I told you guys I was going to do it, and I did.It's my graduation/Christmas present to myself.My emotions are all over the place; I can't stop crying.This means so much to me.I suppose I'll write up a better explanation and story behind this later. I just feel like I'm floating right now.Update: Dear Poetry isn't just my username, it means too much to me to be only that. Poetry has honestly saved my life. Sometimes people ask me where I would be if I wasn't writing, and I tell them dead. There has been so much wrong in my life, and always kept it so hidden before someone told me to write it all down. And last night, everything just seemed to click together. It was spur of the moment, and I walked into this tattoo parlor only seeking a price quote. The owner asked me how much I had on me, and personally did my tattoo for 25 dollars. I wanted to cry right then and there because he was being so nice to me. I think he could tell how much this simple tattoo meant to me. A
I'm Not a WriterHave you ever seen stars?No, literally, have you ever hit your head so hardthat for just a momentflashes of bright white light would dance behind your eyelids?Little sparks that don't burn your eyes,despite looking like they mightIt's actually a pretty intense momentIn a single split second that feels like an eternity,your brain conjures up these magical little lightsYour head might hurtBut the image is rather beautiful <3
All Falling in the EndYou start with yourself.Before anything grand can happen, you have to make a decision. A vow of dedication to your cause. Your ideals. Your path to reforming the world. The one that won’t forget you to the last seconds of your life and far beyond in neither heaven nor hell. Now that you have picked your door in the corridor of choices, you walk in, and the door locks itself behind you. The exhilarating click of devout commitment.You start with a person.It’s surprisingly hard to wield a knife properly, but your palms aren’t sweating. Cool and clenched and excited. Confident, too, that you can achieve what you set out to gain. You finish, and the curtains are raised on the show you’re about to steal. The things you do are nothing short of theatrical and grand, just like a musical with marionettes as actors. You are the planet’s new puppeteer.You work with the world.They’re afraid. They’re amazed. They’re in love. Their cries of pain an
.you should haveemerged with life; yourlittle roots should haveclutched the soil in theirtiny white fists, andgrowni did not mean to trampleyou, i did not mean tolet my body killyour body
AwayI want to fly away,up, in the sky.down, back to earth.I wantI want to go.Away, anywhere, nowhere, somewhere.Just go,Leave, let go, live.I want to fly away,somewhere I can stay.
Paper Stars Uncut