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-Juxtaposition- by HennaLucas -Juxtaposition- by HennaLucas

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As poll results showed that people did want more PS asides and deleted scenes, this is a stand-alone aside I wrote for a possible novella: a collection of short stories about Benjamin's childhood and young-adulthood. Clearly, this is written in a different style than I usually write, but I hope you enjoy it.

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writing, characters (c) me
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:iconpastelghost:
pastelghost Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is so stunning and beautiful, especially that first paragraph. You are a fantastic writer. :)
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!
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:iconelewa9:
elewa9 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Don't worry - you made a wonderful choice in style. The seemingly detached narration worked well for the piece, and I enjoyed seeing glimpses into the theory of what fueled Benjamin's choices. The way you depict the little brother is also very captivating, particularly the part where he's staring at the flames. I only wish that I could see him as clearly as I see Benjamin.

It's a lovely piece. I love the details, "as one watches a film reel," for instance. That's one of your strengths - poignant, efficient descriptions. Can't wait to see more!
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much! I love hearing more specific feedback like this
:iconluvluvplz:
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:iconelewa9:
elewa9 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Student Writer
No problem! I enjoy giving it, especially for pieces like these - you pretty much pull the critique out of me hahaha.

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:icontwilght-incantations:
twilght-incantations Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are just such a beautiful writer :heart: This little bit was just inspiring as usual!
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
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:iconsylviaveir:
SylviaVeir Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No matter the style you choose your writing is astonishing. What awes me the most is your ability to capture emotion and make your characters so believably human that they jump off the page. I definitely enjoyed it!
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
Oh goodness, thank you!
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:iconsylviaveir:
SylviaVeir Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ;)
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:iconportmanteal:
Portmanteal Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student General Artist
I really loved the first paragraph, metaphors are life after all. I did get a bit caught up on the multiple uses of "he, him, his", they felt a little repetitive, but I hardly use pronouns, so it may be a style gap. 

Either way, I liked the piece as a whole too, great job! 
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! I'll work on that
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:iconsnowhiskers:
snowhiskers Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is actually so incredible, it's making my heart ache. I don't know how you work this literary magic. 
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
oh gosh thank you
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:icongothkoala439:
GothKoala439 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I adore this, especially the first two paragraphs, and the haunting honesty of the line 'No one wants to admit they were broken from the start,' gives me chills.
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you very much!
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:iconmzylerouge:
MzyLeRouge Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
Still love this <3
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Writer
:heart:
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:iconpdogropher:
pdogropher Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student Filmographer
remind me of this film youtu.be/6HCTIUx1Arc but i hope it dos not hurt you story.
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:iconcwolf0615:
Cwolf0615 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like the style you wrote this one in, it sounds lovely. :D

Also, is this referring to kristallnacht? Just wondering. xP
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:iconhennalucas:
HennaLucas Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! And yes, this is Kristallnacht 
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