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This is amazing and all (as it always is pfft), but I couldn't help but notice a little mistake on page 22.
"Sure she did. Simon, that tube quite nearly saved your life. Do you realize that you nearly passed on last night?"
"The key word here is 'almost'," replied Simon, lifting off his mask to scratch his nose.
You said 'nearly' in the sentence and then Simon said 'almost'. I don't know if that was deliberate, I just spotted it and felt I should tell you. That is all.
Keep being awesome
I really love Simon's character especially, really sweet, really realistic
Oh, also, I'll note you with what I think were a few errors, I hope you don't mind
This is amazing, I only read the first few pages and I'll read the rest when I come home :D
Keep it up.
allowed to eat hear, you know,”" Hear should be here. Otherwise, impeccable writing. I legitimately lost myself in these few chapters, and eagerly await more.
The writing is fantastic! You really have what it takes to be an author and I hope you get published.